HBO’s Insecure and Enjoying the Journey

I have been a fan of Issa Rae since my college days, cramming into a dorm room with my friends to watch the newest episode of Awkward Black Girl. After graduation, during my first summer living in Los Angeles, I heard her speak at the BET Experience and of her plans to develop a television series.  At the time, I had felt so inspired seeing another Black woman (and an awkward one at that!) reach her goals.  It was another couple of years of development before Insecure even aired, but it was my first tangible lesson that your goals and dreams don’t happen overnight. 

Cut to over eight years later, the show that many of us have come to love ended this past weekend.  Insecure started conversations about relationships, sexuality, mental health, and of course parking protocol (if you know, you know).  While I hate to see my favorite show come to an end, I can’t help but think the finale coming right before the new year is perfect timing to be reminded of lessons that can help us as we begin 2022. 

I could write for hours about the impact of Insecure and the lessons the show has taught us, but as we’re preparing for the new year I think one of the most timely lessons is that great things take time.    

Let’s face it: we’re constantly bombarded by #grind culture.  We’re conditioned to constantly be working toward a goal all while watching others seemingly flourish and excel on instagram.  It’s no secret that social media is a highlight reel that can be detrimental to our mental health, but that doesn’t mean we all don’t fall victim to the comparison game from time to time.  It can be easy to get stuck in the mindset that you haven’t achieved enough when you’re faced with a constant flow of pregnancy announcements, engagements, promotions, and new homes.  

Following Issa Rae’s journey as a creative and being a fan of Insecure has taught me that overnight success is rare, if not impossible, and that it’s ok to sit back and enjoy the journey.  Whether that journey is success in a career, your relationships, or your inner healing, it takes time.

Over five seasons we see this concept unfold on the show.  We watch Molly thirsty to find the “perfect” man.  We see that it took her journey through therapy, healing, and failed dating endeavors to finally find the partnership she craved.  We also see this with Issa, both real-life Issa and the Issa depicted in the show.  

In one of the final episodes, Issa finds herself looking into the mirror and says,  “I just want to fast-forward to the part of my life where everything’s okay.”  I know I’ve had this thought, and I don’t think I’m alone.  Social media and the constant comparison to others can leave you feeling like you’re not reaching your goals fast enough and that pressure can make it hard to even enjoy the ride.  

As we set our intentions and enter 2022, I invite you to take this mindset into the new year as well.  To let go of the idea that healing, change, or success will come overnight.  To let go of the idea that there is some shortcut we’re missing as we watch others make new milestones.  And most important of all, let’s release the idea that we should want to fast-forward the journey of getting there.  

As I reflect on a show that is near and dear to my heart I feel inspired to give myself grace as I learn patience and begin to enjoy my own journey. I hope you all are able to offer yourself that same grace and patience.

What were some of your greatest takeaways from Insecure?